Posted by Mindy Tulsi-Ingram on 8th May 2023
Ringing in the Etiquette: Dos and Don'ts for the Big Day
Being invited to a wedding is exciting - especially when the couple in question are people you are especially close with.But it’s important to remember that the day is not about you. The difference between a spectacular day and a stress-filled day, comes down to how the guests show up.
You’re not the main character today, you’re playing the supporting role in
somebody else’s story.It’s up to you, and
everybody else attending, to make sure the lovebirds have the most incredible
Show up in presence, in etiquette, in gratitude and in thoughtfulness. Here are 10 ways on how to be an awesome wedding guest.
I know how tempting it can be to snap up some beautiful photos of your own, but I promise you that the photographer is on the day have got it covered.
When the couple is standing at the ceremony looking out at everybody they love, they want to be able to see your faces! They want to witness the tears, the joy, the excitement, and none
of that can be done when you’re hiding behind your phone screen.
Leave the documentation of the day to the professionals and take it as a moment where you can really step back and be present without worrying about being constantly checked in online.
Now I know this one may sound obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many times
I’ve seen guests being unnecessarily rude to staff.
While of course all of the vendors are there being paid to do a job, oftentimes they are all just as excited to be there celebrating as you are! The planning and lead-up to a wedding can be a super long and taxing process, and by the wedding day most of us have been working with the couple for months (even years!)
We’re all attending as a collective to celebrate the love of beautiful people and nobody deserves to be treated badly.
The speeches are one of the more personal and intimate moments of the wedding,
where the couple can really step back and soak in the love and support that
Standing up to speak can be super daunting for some, and it’s even worse when they’re competing against everyone else in the room for their voice to be heard.
Sit back and listen. Don’t rob the couple of their chance to hear what everybody has to say.
Seating plans are made for a reason, so don’t be that person and sit wherever
Sometimes there are particular seats during the ceremony that are reserved for specific people, and there are often table plans in place during the reception, so if you’re ever unsure, just look around and ask for help.
Of course it’s ok to get up and chat to other people when the time is right, but get out of your comfort zone and get to know the other people you’ve been seated with. Even if you don’t know them, the couple will have grouped you together because they think you will get along. Who knows, you may make some new pals.
Ok, I know the family photos can sometimes be a drag but it’s important to
remember that you’ve been specifically chosen by the bride and groom to be in
They want you to be a part of the documentation so that when they look back in years to come, they can see your smiling face standing there alongside them.
Plus the quicker it goes for them the better too! They’ve got things they want to move onto.
A wedding typically runs on a very tight schedule, and it won't wait for you!
The worst thing you could do is show up in the middle of the ceremony in a chaotic manner and disrupt the entire moment. Leave with plenty of time to spare, because being early is a far better problem to have than being late.
Often the rules and regulations set in place by venues and vendors are there to
keep everybody safe and the day flowing smoothly. We’ve seen it all before and
we know what’s needed at any given moment to keep everything on track without
We want everyone to have the best bloody time possible, and following simple requests will help keep everybody happy (I promise we’re not just trying to kill your vibe for the sake of it!)
This is one of the most important ones because there is nothing worse than an
empty dance floor! You don’t have to be
a good dancer to get out there and have some fun - even whipping out
the daggiest of moves you learnt 10 years ago is better than none at all.
You’re there for a celebration so make sure you celebrate.
Go and party with your couple without worrying what you look like doing it. They will love you for it and nobody will remember what you looked like in the morning anyway!
Wedding invitations are often sent out well in advance to the day.
It’s important for the couple to have an idea of how many people will be attending so that they can liaise with their vendors and set everything up for the day with accurate figures.
Don’t just open the invitation and chuck it on the fridge hoping you’ll remember to deal with it next time you go to get yourself a cheeky snack.
Look at your calendar, decide if you’ll be able to make it and let the couple know as soon as you can.
There is SO much that goes into planning a wedding.
So much thought, consideration and money; and at the end of the day all the couple wants is a beautiful day where they are surrounded by everyone that means the most to them, celebrating their love.
As a guest, it’s your job to do just that.
So don’t sweat the small stuff, keep your opinions to yourself, drink responsibly and be a team player. At the end of the day, the couple have chosen you as somebody they want to share their special day with.
Embrace this and make the most of being a part of something incredibly special.
Happy Wedding Season!