The Philosophy of Giving Back - A Talk with Robert Tham

October is the month we say thanks, the month when farmers reap their harvest and the month we welcome fall. Inspired by the gratefulness this month brings, I would like to share a conversation I had with Robert Tham, a successful entrepreneur that puts gratitude as his priority.

First a huge congratulations to Robert, who is celebrating his 20th year of being clean and sober this October. Perseverance and commitment is what Robert strives at. He has been maintaining a daily gratitude journal for 13 years. Every morning he kisses and cuddles his wife before leaving their bed, then he takes the time to meditate before starting his day. After his meditation, Roberts sits with a cup of coffee and his gratitude journal where he records 5 things that he his grateful for. It could be that "wicked cup of coffee" he just whipped up, or his business partner and their staff whom he is so grateful for, or activities like kick boxing. These are simple things, yet they bring him joy. He said that when reflecting and recording this gratitude, puts him in a good mood. What a lovely way to kick start your day each morning!

We must remind ourselves of what we have and what we can be grateful for. For Robert, one of the most important thanks he has is his health. He survived 2 brain surgeries and is truly grateful for his sight. Sometimes we forget about what we have until we lose them. His relationships with his clients and friends are also one of his blessings. He learns how to be giving from them and they make his life fulfilling. He appreciates not only what they can do for him, but also what he can do for them.

I was curious - 20 years of being sober and clean and 13 years of gratitude journal - what happened to the missing 7 years? Those 7 years were the hardest for Robert. His daily "self-care" dwindled and that affected his well-being, health and happiness. Sometimes we fall off the bandwagon and its okay to hop on back anytime.

It was when he took an inventory of what was going on; he realized that the one thing that had a huge impact for him daily was the "self-care" routine of prayer/meditation and recording his gratitude. Robert explains that the lack of self-care can contribute to resentment and anger which in turn can lead to depression. Simple strategies like taking the time to take care of you and finding the time to "find" the good that you experience can bring joy and change your well being Robert adds. Our happiness metre can infect others in a positive way.

Robert's secret sauce? Instead of being infuriated by bystander’s difficult behaviors, Robert started appreciating what he can learn from them. He observes the interactions between others and is mindful of actions that are not appreciated, and in turn, he does the opposite. These little gestures are Robert's gifts.

Robert believes and lives a philosophy of giving. Its simple, he says, "in order to be happy, some sacrifices are needed". It’s giving without expectation and thinking of others constantly. So, what is Robert’s "little sacrifice"? He volunteers his time at his AA meetings, and Robert ensures that before he leaves each meeting, he sweeps, cleans, mops and make sure the washroom is tidied up after the meetings. It is important to leave it better than it was. Robert also opens his own house for meetings and gatherings with other members. This led us to the discussion of Seva, a concept that means selfless service for altruistic purposes. It is service on behalf of, and for the betterment of, the community.

With Thanksgiving coming up, why not start your gratitude for what is right in front of you.

• Gratitude for your meal
• Gratitude for the people that you work with
• Gratitude for family and friends.
• Spread your kindness and capture your good.

Robert has inspired us with his secret sauce, now all you have to do is add your own spice and make it your very own! Add a dash of Robert's secret sauce everyday.